Finally. Finally I am back working face to face. Training, teaching, coaching, mentoring. The school landscape has changed over 16 months. Or rather, what's underneath the landscape has changed. People are tired; tired in ways they've not known and in ways they struggle to describe or understand. I do my best to help them.
Here's a thought to make sense of it:
March 2020. Chaos. The unknown, the unexpected, the overwhelming. The wicked. I wrote about that, here. We rallied, pulled on our reserves, created, adapted, struggled and (kind of) got there.
When I realised what COVID-19 actually meant to my work and my livelihood, I did three things:
- Wept
- Contacted my mentors
- Went against my style
Weep
I did. We did. The loss, the stress, the uncertainty. It didn't fix anything but it released something.
Mentors
I'm lucky to have (and, professionally, insist on having) a mentor, a supervisor and two go-to colleagues. I'm lucky. 4 people who have my professional back. They didn't fix anything but helped me to see something different.
Style
Hello. My name's Mike and I'm an introvert. Don't confuse the person you see in the training room, or at Zoom School, or in the conference hall or classroom with the one who needs to be alone at the end of the day.
Extrovert or introvert is about where you get your energy, not whether you like parties. I love being with people but I recharge alone. Extroverts refuel with others. We are not limited to one style but gravitate to our preference for rest and recovery.
So COVID came and what did I do? Hide away? Disappear? Go inside myself? 'Introvert' myself? No. The opposite. I reached out, made new contacts, started Zoom School, rekindled old connections. I went 100% extrovert. I went 'outside my style'.
Why did I do this? Survival. The psyche goes, 'You've got introvert covered off my friend. It's your thing. You can do that. Extrovert? Needs work. Not your speciality. And this is a threatening time. All bases need covering, so address the imbalance. Get out there and extrovert!'
And I did. I loved it. But it was exhausting. Staying too long out of style without returning in style for nourishment had a cost, to health, to wellbeing and to my ability to do what I do best.
Maybe, right now, by accident or design, you've been 'out of style' for too long? Maybe your environment demands this of you. Maybe just knowing why you might feel like you feel - a new variant of tiredness - will go some way to helping.
New things need naming. Do you have, 'out of style tiredness'?